Within the pop culture lexicon of this era, one of the most misused and poorly defined words is “trauma”. Trauma is a medical term, which is supposed to refer to injuries of a severe or lasting nature, whether physical or mental. Yet today, people casually throw it around when talking about any experience they didn’t enjoy, or even just something that wasn’t entirely positive. Such misuse trivializes legitimate trauma and dilutes the term’s efficacy in serious contexts.
Trauma is also frequently used as a justification for the mistreatment of others, i.e. “It’s not my fault I lashed out at you, I have trauma!” Here’s the truth, though, not every adversity in life qualifies as trauma, and even real trauma is not perpetual permission to be an asshole. If you have experienced trauma, the hope is that you’ll be treated with grace and understanding, but you still have a duty to regulate your own actions in the world. If you’re a stranger reading this and wondering who the hell I think I am to have this opinion, here’s a little background:
- I was born significantly premature and suffered brain damage, resulting in permanent quadriplegic cerebral palsy.
- Three major surgeries before age 12 to mitigate physical defects.
- Almost died as an infant due to further health complications.
- Constant physical discomfort is a fact of life with cerebral palsy.
- Extreme social isolation resulting from the inaccessibility of South African public infrastructure.
- Two separate situations in which violent death was a genuine possibility, thanks to South Africa’s precarious socioeconomic reality.
I could go on, but my point is that a difficult life doesn’t entitle anyone to become a self-involved misanthrope. If you want to be treated well, you’re obligated to abide by a reasonable moral standard as much as everyone else.